Archive for the ‘migraine’ category

Poultry and the migraine mind

September 21, 2009

Over 100º today, and I was so smart when I was grocery shopping during the cool morning hour: I looked at the uncooked chicken and then I looked at the cooked-for-me-already chicken and chose the correct one for the current weather conditions. By 6 PM my kitchen is already as hot as an oven without the actual oven getting involved.

I have been having extra bad headache times. I didn’t realize how bad until they got better and I looked back. My July and August calendars show me I took some kind of pain reliever almost every single day, and the days that I didn’t, it was just because I ran out of triptans and gave up.

A perceptive comment on my blog in July frightened me because I had no idea my despair was so transparent. This blog is my place to be negative, but I imagined I was keeping it fairly light. Maybe it’s just light compared to how I really feel. But I decided that I was focusing too much on my head and that if I quit writing about it all the time probably I would get better. (The logic of the migraine-damaged mind.)

And I am better, just like I would have gotten better if I had kept writing, taken more pills, taken less pills, eaten the same, eaten differently; because the migraines get better, get worse, get better, like the tide coming in and going out. I can chart their patterns but their sources elude me.

Although, come to think of it, grocery store rotisserie chicken should probably be on the list of suspects.

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6 days 4 migraines

June 29, 2009

Or maybe it was one migraine that kept coming back. I took naratriptan for the first two, and then took another for the third even though that is against my personal policy. It has been very hot (108º) and I was trying to make a decision about getting a dog from the Humane Society, and I needed to be able to leave my house and cope.

And then I woke up with the fourth headache, but I just couldn’t take a fourth triptan in less than a week, and it was still hot and the dog decision was still pending and then family came to visit. We ended up deciding against the dog (very sad, he is a very nice dog and 7 years old and I hope a nice family finds him. I wish I could retire right now and have lots of dogs and work in my yard and paint my kitchen and go for walks and bike rides every day. . .and when I had a migraine I would just lie down until it went away and then I’d get up and resume life. I’m so tired of having to fight my way through every single migraine.)

I detect migraine residue in my whininess. Anyway, it’s nice to have family, because you can sit in a restaurant gripping the side of your head and everybody just acts like it’s normal behavior on your part, since it is.

June 14, 2009

I was chosen for jury duty. They did close a library branch because of it.

My smooth, orderly, migraine-avoiding life has been severely disrupted in the last six weeks. My work schedule changed, I drive even more than before, there were graduations, going-aways, parties, jury duty. I got hives, but I’d never had them before and they were on my back and I couldn’t see them, and between my schedule and everything that was happening and my apparent inability to sufficiently describe what my problem was to the doctor’s office over the phone, I didn’t get treatment until nearly two weeks after they began and by then I guess hives just decide they like where they’re living even if what originally caused them is gone.

I especially had no idea that hives hurt!

So I have been eating a lot of aspirin. But the weather is still beautiful, which is unusual for this time of year. And this jury experience (my third) was the best ever. All the jurors took their job seriously, which was not true of the other juries I’ve been on. Restored my faith in the justice system, somewhat. Interestingly, the judge and both attorneys were women. Maybe that wouldn’t even elicit comment from younger people, but for me and the other female jurors my age, it was high-five time. The male jurors of more advanced age stoically endured. How their world has changed.

Kind of discouraged

June 7, 2009

spring

Unseasonably rainy weather is making my yard look pleasant. Soon it will be 110º and I will come home from work one evening too tired to water and cracklephhht!. . .that’s the sound of all the non-native plants drying up and dying in 24 hours.

I have had a cold all week and feel worse today than ever, probably because I had to keep going to work since budget cutbacks make taking a sick day very difficult. Monday I have jury duty. Monday is my regular day off, but if I get picked for a trial that lasts more than a day, will they actually close my little one-person branch, like they keep threatening? I doubt it. I think that is just a threat to discourage me from trying to take time off. (The other, larger library I work at the other four days is now down to two staff, so it’s not so easy to take time off there, either. Or even lunch!) They will find a way to send someone to the little library as a sub.

It seems like I have had a lot of headaches lately, migraine and non-migraine. The stress of trying to keep that little library alive when it’s only open one day a week is taking a toll on me. Attendance and check-outs have plummeted, and I very irrationally feel like I have failed personally. And did I mention I have a headache? It makes everything harder to deal with.

Hoping for a quiet day

May 23, 2009

I have four days off in a row! And I was hoping that it would be one of those lovely migraine-free vacations, but no. I woke up knowing I would have a migraine even though I couldn’t feel any pain yet. And then I waited too long before taking a pill.

One way I knew it was coming was that my husband left the water running on a young apricot tree last night, and when I woke up I became aware of the sound of the water in the pipes. I don’t really understand how, but when the water is running outside, I hear it inside the house, but I don’t really notice it unless I have a migraine, and then it is INTOLERABLE.

In which I am a risk-taker and survive

May 18, 2009

We went to see the Star Trek movie last night. When my husband was buying the tickets, the ticket-seller said something I couldn’t hear, and then my husband said, “Yeah, I guess that’s okay.” “What’s okay?” I asked as we started inside. “We have to sit in the first three rows,” he said.

No! That’s not okay! My neck! My eyes! I’m going to get a migraine!

But I didn’t say any of that, because he was being so nice taking me to see Star Trek, and I am tired of being a wet washcloth 100% of the time. (I think of myself as a wet washcloth rather than a wet blanket because a wet washcloth is what I used to have on my forehead while lying on the couch with a migraine when I was a little kid. If I had a coat of arms I guess it would have to contain a wet washcloth.)

So my daughter and I went to get seats while my husband got popcorn. We ended up in the middle of the second row. A woman about my own age sat down beside me and said “This looks like the headache row.” “I hope not!” I replied, pretending to be unconcerned.

(A tangent–don’t you think migraineurs should have a secret signal so we could recognize each other in public and provide quiet, unobtrusive support in times of need?)

So anyway I just thought good thoughts and gradually managed to adjust the angle of my head and my vision (sometimes it felt better to close one eye, and during the previews when everything was flashing around so fast I just closed both of them,) so that I wasn’t very uncomfortable, and quit worrying and had a great time. What a fun movie! And sitting so close, I felt like I was inside the screen. Woo hoo! I love Star Trek.

And when I got home my neck was a little stiff and I had some pain around one of my eyes, so I took a couple of aspirin before bed and put some ice on my neck and woke up feeling fine. Aah, the good life.

Hot

May 17, 2009

99º yesterday. I had a dreadful headache. The air conditioning where I was working was not broken, but it was off, because somebody who is in charge of setting the timers on the system set it to be off Saturdays. They program our heating and air conditioning remotely, from another city. We couldn’t figure out how to override it, and believe me, I have years of experience figuring out how to override various library systems that are trying to kill me.

People coming in from the 99º street fanned themselves and complained that it was hot in the library. I thought I might die, but instead I lived to complain about it in this handy blog.