Archive for the ‘headaches’ category

Kind of discouraged

June 7, 2009

spring

Unseasonably rainy weather is making my yard look pleasant. Soon it will be 110º and I will come home from work one evening too tired to water and cracklephhht!. . .that’s the sound of all the non-native plants drying up and dying in 24 hours.

I have had a cold all week and feel worse today than ever, probably because I had to keep going to work since budget cutbacks make taking a sick day very difficult. Monday I have jury duty. Monday is my regular day off, but if I get picked for a trial that lasts more than a day, will they actually close my little one-person branch, like they keep threatening? I doubt it. I think that is just a threat to discourage me from trying to take time off. (The other, larger library I work at the other four days is now down to two staff, so it’s not so easy to take time off there, either. Or even lunch!) They will find a way to send someone to the little library as a sub.

It seems like I have had a lot of headaches lately, migraine and non-migraine. The stress of trying to keep that little library alive when it’s only open one day a week is taking a toll on me. Attendance and check-outs have plummeted, and I very irrationally feel like I have failed personally. And did I mention I have a headache? It makes everything harder to deal with.

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May 17, 2009

99º yesterday. I had a dreadful headache. The air conditioning where I was working was not broken, but it was off, because somebody who is in charge of setting the timers on the system set it to be off Saturdays. They program our heating and air conditioning remotely, from another city. We couldn’t figure out how to override it, and believe me, I have years of experience figuring out how to override various library systems that are trying to kill me.

People coming in from the 99º street fanned themselves and complained that it was hot in the library. I thought I might die, but instead I lived to complain about it in this handy blog.

Rainy day dogs

February 16, 2009

Rain rain rain. I had four days off in the rain. Yesterday my daughter and I were so sick of being inside that we put the dog in the car and drove to a lake (really a pond) and walked around it in the pouring rain. The dog was ecstatic at first but got car sick on the way back home and spent the rest of the afternoon as close to the wall heater as he could get.

Today we went to the Humane Society to look at a beagle. He is about seven years old and has the usual beagle qualities of being small and lovable and barking barking barking. He is reportedly an escape artist, also typical of beagles. We used to own a beagle who could walk without jingling her dog tags when she wanted to, the better to escape right out from under our noses.

This beagle has been at the Humane Society for two months and needs a home. Our current basset/beagle needs a friend. But I just don’t know if I could handle it right now. I feel better than I have in months, but the barking at the Humane Society made my head hurt.

13 days

February 14, 2009

I had a migraine Thursday. When I went to mark it on my calendar I was surprised to see that it was the first migraine in 13 days. Also, during those 13 days I only took aspirin twice, and once was for muscle aches, not headache. I know I wasn’t completely pain-free during that time, but there was just no pain worthy of medication.

The weird thing is I barely even noticed that it was happening. I just lived through it like it was normal. Now that I’m all headachey again I think I should have had a party every day to celebrate. But parties usually give me a headache, so I guess living normally like there’s not going to be a headache tomorrow is about as wild as I can safely get.

Clusters, water, what is my point here, exactly?

February 1, 2009

About 30 years ago I went through a period where I would wake up in the middle of the night with a horrendous pain in my head. The pain was shocking, it was unbearable, it was so bad I couldn’t even get up out of bed, all I could do was rock back and forth and cry. It would last for about 20 minutes and then subside, and I would crawl out of bed and take some aspirin, which was useless because the pain would come back in about 10 minutes, more rocking and crying, pain would subside, come right back, more rocking, pain gradually would fade completely, I would sleep and then wake up in the morning, okay.

Of course I didn’t go to a doctor, because I had no money and the student health center was worse than useless and I already had migraines that I never ever thought of going to the doctor about. The headaches continued for a few weeks and I began noticing a Monday Wednesday Friday pattern to them. MWF I rode the bus 25 miles to school and carried my life around in my backpack, including a massive physiology textbook. I took the physiology book out of the pack and never had another attack. (Knock wood. Never isn’t really here yet.)

Years later I read about cluster headaches, and recognized that my symptoms during that brief period were similar. This has caused me to have tremendous sympathy for cluster sufferers, different from the sympathy I have for people who have other dreadful conditions I can only imagine, because it contains a hint of terror. I feel I’ve suffered something similar to a cluster headache, and the memory terrifies me. It was so much worse than a migraine, even the migraines that make me roll around in the bed and cry. The pain I felt was sudden and immediately disabling and I was completely helpless while it attacked. Now that I think about it, I was lucky it happened at night.

Anyway, I hate to think about it in case my brain says, oh, yeah, I could do that again!

But my idea is, since I “cured” my “cluster headaches” so easily, maybe I should start a website with my cure! Click on all the ads on my site and I’ll reveal the secret to my success. Ditch your physiology textbook! It worked for me! If it doesn’t work for you, you’re probably not trying hard enough. Or maybe you forgot to do the secret dance step and chant (cha cha cha) while tossing it in the trash. Don’t have a physiology textbook? Then your pain is obviously imaginary. I’ll make my millions and retire, as I assume all those people who want me to visit their website and learn how to cure my migraines with water will do eventually. I don’t mean to be rude, but really, I was drinking water before y’all were born.

mri (pronounce it mreee)

November 26, 2008

While I was lying in the tube, listening to all the hammering and beeping and banging, not only was I not bothered by the noise, it all seemed familiar and relaxing somehow. Half way through the procedure I figured out why.

I used to take yoga classes at a health club. The club decided to make the room next to the “yoga studio” into some kind of pilates machinery room. This meant several weeks of jackhammers, power saws, drilling and hammering, and demolition and construction did not stop for the namby-pamby yoga classes, even though we couldn’t hear our teacher over the noise. Everybody complained, but I kept thinking that if I could get myself to relax and breathe in all that commotion, it would be good training for something someday. Today was the day!

One disturbing note: after about 20 minutes the technician told me I was done. I said, “I wonder why my doctor told me it would take 40 min. to an hour?” She said, “I don’t know. Bye.” I got my stuff and left. In the parking lot I heard my name. She was running after me with some papers. “I think the radiologist misread this,” she said. Back I went for another 30 minutes. But how do I know I got the correct procedure in the end?

Well, my doctor will tell me, I’m sure. Meanwhile, I now have six days off in a row! Yippee!

Am I claustrophobic?

November 17, 2008

After a year and a half of fiddling around with my sometimes constant stabbing headache, my doctor decided I should have an MRA, even though she is convinced that the headache is caused by my sinus. I am happy about this decision because ever since May 2007 I have been convinced that something in my head is about to burst, and if the MRA proves me wrong I can get on with my life. (Let’s see, what was I doing when I was interrupted? I think it was Downward-facing Dog.)

Now the question is: the vague feeling of unease I get when thinking of being trapped in an elevator, a cave, an airplane; is that claustrophobia or just good sense?