Kind of discouraged

spring

Unseasonably rainy weather is making my yard look pleasant. Soon it will be 110º and I will come home from work one evening too tired to water and cracklephhht!. . .that’s the sound of all the non-native plants drying up and dying in 24 hours.

I have had a cold all week and feel worse today than ever, probably because I had to keep going to work since budget cutbacks make taking a sick day very difficult. Monday I have jury duty. Monday is my regular day off, but if I get picked for a trial that lasts more than a day, will they actually close my little one-person branch, like they keep threatening? I doubt it. I think that is just a threat to discourage me from trying to take time off. (The other, larger library I work at the other four days is now down to two staff, so it’s not so easy to take time off there, either. Or even lunch!) They will find a way to send someone to the little library as a sub.

It seems like I have had a lot of headaches lately, migraine and non-migraine. The stress of trying to keep that little library alive when it’s only open one day a week is taking a toll on me. Attendance and check-outs have plummeted, and I very irrationally feel like I have failed personally. And did I mention I have a headache? It makes everything harder to deal with.

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2 Comments on “Kind of discouraged”

  1. carol Says:

    Hey, I just found your blog when looking for pomegranate tree blossoms. I started treatment a week ago with EEG Neurofeedback or Biofeedback. This is supposed to make my headaches go away – I have tension, allergy, and sinus headaches – more when it is raining – which turn into migraines if not treated in time. I have them everyday if I don’t use Progesterone cream and take Inderal to help prevent them. The Neurofeedback diagnostic tests so far shows a lot of anxiety, ADD, headache, depression. The Neurofeedback practitioner said that all my symptoms will clear up with treatment, and repressed memories may even come out if my brain can cope with them. Only bad thing is that usually insurance doesn’t pay for it, and mine doesn’t. But I don’t feel like I have any choice – I have been declining mentally for several years, and have gotten to the point that I am not accomplishing much of anything, no matter how many hours I work or how hard I try. Please look into this treatment in your area – you can research it on the web. Look under Cygnet neurofeedback – that’s what my practitioner uses – they have some real good videos you can watch on different diagnoses. I wish I’d known about it years ago. I’d love to hear from you. Carol

    • Christy Says:

      Good luck with your treatment. I’ve always been interested in biofeedback, but the closest I’ve ever come to it is yoga, which taught me to notice when my body was tensing or I wasn’t breathing. Kind of an ancient, cheap, pre-science biofeedback. I’ve said before that I would be willing to wear electrodes on my head 24/7 to find out what the heck my brain is up to. I hope your Neurofeedback practitioner is right and your pain goes away soon.


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