Clusters, water, what is my point here, exactly?

About 30 years ago I went through a period where I would wake up in the middle of the night with a horrendous pain in my head. The pain was shocking, it was unbearable, it was so bad I couldn’t even get up out of bed, all I could do was rock back and forth and cry. It would last for about 20 minutes and then subside, and I would crawl out of bed and take some aspirin, which was useless because the pain would come back in about 10 minutes, more rocking and crying, pain would subside, come right back, more rocking, pain gradually would fade completely, I would sleep and then wake up in the morning, okay.

Of course I didn’t go to a doctor, because I had no money and the student health center was worse than useless and I already had migraines that I never ever thought of going to the doctor about. The headaches continued for a few weeks and I began noticing a Monday Wednesday Friday pattern to them. MWF I rode the bus 25 miles to school and carried my life around in my backpack, including a massive physiology textbook. I took the physiology book out of the pack and never had another attack. (Knock wood. Never isn’t really here yet.)

Years later I read about cluster headaches, and recognized that my symptoms during that brief period were similar. This has caused me to have tremendous sympathy for cluster sufferers, different from the sympathy I have for people who have other dreadful conditions I can only imagine, because it contains a hint of terror. I feel I’ve suffered something similar to a cluster headache, and the memory terrifies me. It was so much worse than a migraine, even the migraines that make me roll around in the bed and cry. The pain I felt was sudden and immediately disabling and I was completely helpless while it attacked. Now that I think about it, I was lucky it happened at night.

Anyway, I hate to think about it in case my brain says, oh, yeah, I could do that again!

But my idea is, since I “cured” my “cluster headaches” so easily, maybe I should start a website with my cure! Click on all the ads on my site and I’ll reveal the secret to my success. Ditch your physiology textbook! It worked for me! If it doesn’t work for you, you’re probably not trying hard enough. Or maybe you forgot to do the secret dance step and chant (cha cha cha) while tossing it in the trash. Don’t have a physiology textbook? Then your pain is obviously imaginary. I’ll make my millions and retire, as I assume all those people who want me to visit their website and learn how to cure my migraines with water will do eventually. I don’t mean to be rude, but really, I was drinking water before y’all were born.

Explore posts in the same categories: a little unfocused, headaches, migraine, pain, road to wealth

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